North Shore Golf League
 
 
2007
 

EXCUSE ME…COULD YOU TELL ME WHERE 12 TEE IS?

 

    And while you’re at it, where’s the front nine?  For those of you that showed up three years ago for the practice round, you got to witness first hand the changes being made to the course.  This year even more than last promises to be a year of transition and we will have to do our best to live with the temporary set up of many of the holes.  As far as ground rules go, you’re on your own!  The handicap committee disavows any knowledge or purported knowledge of any local rules.  My suggestion to the rules committee; be as liberal as possible.  Just the same, remember we’re here to have fun.  The guys at Merrimack have been good to us over many years.  We can bear with them for one more.  So let’s grip it and rip it, or for most of the holes grip it and chip it! 

 

SAINTS BE PRAISED

  
 After the practice round we had the annual drawing of the teams.  We welcome four new members and three returning members to the fold.   Our new members are Don Hodgkins, Ben Swartz, John McKenzie and Dan Murphy.  As fate would have it, Dan Murphy wound up partnered with Karen Murphy, so when you look at the scorecard, you’re not seeing double from your before golf cocktails, but there really are two Murphys listed.  As for our returning members we welcome back with open arms, Dick Pais.  With slightly ajar arms, we welcome back former Club Champion, Woody Howell.  That of course leaves Bill Driscoll.  When Bill expressed a desire to return, the officers of the League held a high level confab and decidedly eventually to allow Bill back in.  Unfortunately that meant we had to oust Gene Driscoll, since two Driscolls would just be wrong.  Besides, could you imagine the confusion if they were teamed up against the two Murphys?  Even St. Patrick would curse that match-up.  We are also looking for a golfer to replace Eddie Bauer.  (To entice the potential member, you may leave out the fact that they would be partnered with Rick Steere!)

 

MISTER SANDMAN, MAKE ME A DREAM….

 
   When Woody decided to return to the League, he made a plea to the handicap committee to adjust his handicap since he hasn’t played in a couple of years.   Our former Club Champion shot low gross in the A Division last week.  Nice try Woody!  (We’re watching you too Hodgkins!)

 

RIMSHOT PLEASE

  
 Bill Driscoll’s significant other made a request to the Editors of Foreplay to take it easy on Bill.  Can’t be done Pam. That’s like asking Cazoo to share his steak with Rose! 

 

GOOD THING THERESA WASN’T THERE BOB!

 
  Last week’s storm brought up the age old question of “Where do you go when stuck in a lightning storm?”  Apparently the golfers of the North Shore Golf League have their own ideas on the subject.  Most with carts, high tailed it back to the clubhouse.  One group, led by “He who has no name” ran (or should we say waddled) up the hill to the new maintenance building.  Another group found shelter in the storage trailer near the 13th tee.  Rumor has it that Driscoll and Robin found shelter in the porta-pottie by the 4th green!  Bill insists they both left and went home but we’re not buying it!  However, perhaps the best involved the travails of Frank McCann and partner Bob Gorey, who were deserted at the 14th tee by Danny D. and Dick Pelczar.  Bob and Frank found shelter in the “Pump House” which sounds like it could be found next to the bath houses on the Fens.  Double entendres aside, apparently they had a good time in there, perhaps discussing how lightning wouldn’t touch them in structure that housed AN ELECTRIC pump, because when they emerged, they let the door slam closed with their clubs inside the now locked “Pump House”.  As a result, they had to borrow a cart from the storage (trailer trash?) group to find a maintenance man to unlock the door.  While all this was going on, Dan and Dick (remember them?) were feverishly searching throughout the grounds, looking for their opponents!  In any event, last week’s matches do count since it cleared up and the majority of the golfers finished the round.  For those of you who did not finish, the remaining holes will be scored as halved.  

 

BUT MY BALL’S IN LOT 35!!

  
In case you we’re wondering about the new approach to the parking lot as well as the 18th green for those riding carts, the course no longer owns the property behind the 18th green.  As a matter of fact, they don’t even own the 18th green!  They are asking that you do not drive carts behind the green after your approach shots as you did in the past.  You should approach to the left of the green and then return back across the fairway.   I know this makes Steve O’Brien, John McKenzie and Mike McLane very happy as each has been observed bouncing their approach shots off the club house roof.  Now they will be that much closer to there second shot.

 
 
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!

 
  Congratulations are in order for our Regular Season Champions in each of the Divisions.  In the “A” Division, the team of Bauer and Steere held off a valiant effort from Jim Haker playing without his partner to by 1 point.   The “B” Division was also tight with the team of Plouffe and Majeau holding on to finish ahead of the team of Higgins and Chan by 1.5 points.  There was slightly more breathing room in the “C” Division as the team of DiLorenzo and Pelczar won by 2 points over the team of Kennedy and Hatherley.   Finally, in the “D” Division, the team of McKenzie and Lynette O’Brien cruised to a 6.5 point victory over there nearest competitors, DiCenso and Gorey.  As a consolation prize, Ben and Theresa get to play the dummy team which is an automatic forfeit.    Each of the four Division winners will receive a bye this week and gift not to exceed $1,000 at the year-end banquet. Good luck to all teams in the playoffs tonight.

 

 
THE SWEET SIXTEEN!

 
  Last week’s preliminary matches proved to be exciting with most matches being close as well as a couple of results that could be considered upsets.  In the A Division, Dalton and Norton defeated Mark Silva, playing without his partner Woody 3&2.  Mark can now devote his full attention to the pool which you have until tee time on Friday to enter.  In a very close match, B. Gorey and McCann edged Morrill and Beauchain 1 up.  They earned the right to face the heavy hitters of the League, our last two club Champions, Kelley and Haker who trounced the literal heavy hitters of Butka and Casazza 5&3.  At least you won’t have to wait on the tee for your partner any more Jackie!  In the B Division, The team of Noonan and Crowley snuck past Pais and Wands 2&1.  The other matches in that Division were also tight as Swartz and Daszkiewcz defeated Hodgkins and Snow 2&1.  They will face Driscoll and Lynch who eked out a victory from Higgins and Chan 1 up.  In the C Division Pratt and Callahan defeated Matt Silva and Joyce, 3&2.  Skip Kelley, who always picks the winners, has Mike and Ralph going all the way!  (That should dilute the winnings Skip!) The team of O'Brien and O'Sullivan proved two Micks can beat two Daves as they overpowered, Moore and Nicholson, 3&2.  In the other C Division match, Kennedy and Hatherley defeated Marcou and Jack Collins, who valiantly came off of injured reserve to try to help his partner, 4&2.   In the D Division, Karen Murphy shocked the world by single-handedly defeating Johnson and McLane.  Apparently the right Murphy stayed!  In another upset, Dick Kelledy, also sans partner beat the defending champions, Ouellette and Gagnon 1 up.  Finally, the team of DiCenso and Theresa Gorey soundly whooped the Dummy team, 5&4.  The Dummy team was so upset that they vowed not to show up for the rest of the year

 

THE ELITE EIGHT!

 
 
  We are now down to eight teams let on the road to the Finals.   As the quality of the course steadily improves, so does the quality of the teams remaining.  In the A Division, the team of Dalton and Norton defeated the regular season champs of Bauer and Steere 1 up.   That gave them to opportunity to face Bob Gorey and McCann who also won a very close match over Kelley and Haker 2 up.  In the B Division, the regular season champs of Plouffe and Majeau also went down to defeat at the hands of Noonan and Crowley 2&1.  Actually Dick Plouffe was without his partner Bob Majeau who was absent due to some lame excuse like a wedding anniversary.  Get those priorities straight Bob.  In the other match in the B Division, the surging team of Swartz and Daszkiewcz defeated the Hobbit team of Driscoll and Lynch 3&2.  (Bilbo, get it?)  In the C Division, in a disturbing trend, the regular season champs, DiLorenzo and Pelczar were defeated by Skip Kelley’s “best bet” team of Pratt and Callahan 2&1.  If the sheets were delivered last week, that would have made a lot more sense.    That earned them the right to face the team of Steve O’Brien and Jerry O’Sullivan who ran roughshod over the team of Hatherley and the forgetful Joe Kennedy, who not only left the sheets in Stoneham but apparently left his golf game there also.  In the D Division, the only regular season champs to advance. McKenzie and Lynette O’Brien ended the Cinderella story of Karen Murphy by winning 4&2.  I guess the golf slipper didn’t fit Karen.  Finally, Robin Lambert coming back from potentially career ending surgery joined partner Kelledy to defeat the team of Ben DiCenso and Theresa Gorey 2 up.  I don’t know how you should take this Ben, but we’ve never seen anyone happier to lose than Theresa. She was just upset that Bob is still in the running.  After tonight matches, we will draw to determine who will be matched for the final four.  Good luck to all tonight. 

 
THE FINAL FOUR!

 
  We have now reached the Final four on our way to crowning the League Champions.   Each of the matches last week exceeded expectations as every one was not decided until at least the last hole.   In the A Division, the team of Bob Gorey and Fran McCann won on the 1st playoff hole against the team of Sean Dalton and George Norton.  This further delays quality lake time for the Goreys, which we are sure has Theresa none too pleased.  In the B Division, John Daszkiewicz, playing without partner Ben Swartz, single-handedly defeated the team of Noonan and Crowley, 1up.  Once again, a Boston College team fails to reach the big one! In the C Division, Steve O’Brien, also playing without his partner Jerry O’Sullivan, pulled the upset by holding on to defeat Mike Pratt and Ralph Callahan 1up.  Jerry was actually in Las Vegas placing a huge bet on his team (We hear is was in the 2 digit figure range!).  Finally in the D Division, the team of Dick Kelledy and Robin Lambert fought off the challenge of John McKenzie and Lynette O’Brien 1up.  John expressed relief since he now can devote all of his attention to bowling!  This week, Bob Gorey and Frank McCann will face off against Dick Kelledy and Robin Lambert on the front.  On the back the team of Ben Swartz and John Daszkiewicz will take on Steve O’Brien and Jerry O’Sullivan.  It will be interesting to see how Steve and John fair with their partners!  Also the individual races will end tonight with tight matches in three of the four Divisions.  (Congratulations Lynette!)  Good luck to all tonight