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1999
IT’S FINALLY HERE! SAUSAGES AT THE TURN!
Welcome to the fifth annual North Shore Golf Club Championship. This year, 11 awards will be presented. The most coveted is the low gross for all golfers who will be crowned the Club Champion. Since Errol Eddy won last year, most of the South Shore League is showing up to try to duplicate the feat. Little do they know that the true champion however, will be anyone who can eat more “Sausages at the Turn” than Cazoo!
SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE!
As the Editors of FOREPLAY were looking at last year’s mini tournament results, it was noted that Danny D was accused by Joe Kennedy of stacking his team. Dan’s team failed to win a single prize. This year, none other than Paul Joyce made similar accusations to Dan, only the word used was “Loading” the team. Dan calmly tried to explain to Paul the methodology behind how the teams were selected. Paul would hear nothing of it. Bob Gorey, who Captained the team stated the only thing that was loaded was Paul. Dan Crowley, the third member of the team refused to dignify the accuser with a response and merely loaded his clubs into his trunk and drove off. Chuck however was last seen loading a weapon. Nice knowing you Paul! Meanwhile, the actual winners on the back, coming in at 15 under par were the team of Jim Dwyer, Mark Chan, JoAnn Johnson and none other than the lucky charm of the mini tournaments, Paul Dunn. Paul has been a winner in just about every mini tournament since their inception. Chae gets to keep half the prize money but Paul won’t part with the golf balls. He says he needs them more! Meanwhile, on the back, the team of George Norton, Bill Driscoll and Dick, (oops Bob) McAuliffe took the honors with a record setting 16 under par. Ron Hood, who was to be the fourth member of the group but was unable to show up and, always the lawyer, has threatened to sue for his portion of the prize fund. McAuliffe is willing to settle by giving him Driscoll’s share. That’s our story and we’re sticking to it.
THREE CLUBS! WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED! OH YEA…
Last week turned out to be a good week to hold our Three Club tournament as it turned out to be the most oppressive day weather-wise all year. Everyone appreciated the fact that they had lighter or even no bags to lug around. Before the match in the parking lot, Bob McAuliffe carefully considered which clubs he would take. He considered the side he was playing as well as the make up of his team. Finally, satisfied with his choice, Bob closed his trunk, proudly walked from his car stating “I’m all set now!” Paul Joyce, watching this all take place yelled over “Hey Bob! Did you remember to take balls?” Bob merely turned around, muttered an expletive and reopened his trunk. Jim Dwyer did his best to prove a golfer is a golfer no matter how many clubs are in his bag as his shot 3 over par, birdying both the difficult 6th and 7th holes. Danny D. did his best to prove that if you suck, you suck, again, no matter how many clubs you carry. Incidentally, the winners on the front were the team of Sammy, Pat Keane, Bob “No Balls” McAuliffe and Joe “Brass Balls” Kennedy. On the back the winning team consisted of Skip, Mark Chan, Dick Plouffe and JoAnn Johnson who apparently carried the team. Chae, whose team was captained by Cazoo, said “Sure JoAnn, that’s easy. Try to carry John around the course!”
HAIL TO THE VICTORS!
Congratulations are in order for the winners in last week’s Club Championship. The Club Champion was decided in a thrilling playoff between Dave Bernard and Bill Neary. Dave eventually won on the third playoff hole and is FINALLY crowned the Club Champion. Bill receives the honors for low gross in the Championship Flight. The other low gross winners were, in Flight A, Mike Lahey, Fight B, Danny D., Flight C, Dick Pelczar and in Flight D, the infamous Sal Fazio. The low net winners were, in the Championship Flight, Bob Gorey, Flight A, Barbara Wands, Flight B, Shawn Phelan, Flight C, Kathy Berlo and in Flight D, Jack Collins. Mark won the Silva Flight.
NOW THE REAL FUNS BEGINS!
Though the individual races continue throughout the playoffs, last week we crowned our regular season team champions. In the A Division, the team of George Norton and Rick Stanton came in just ahead of defending champs, Frank McCann and Mark Silva. No phone calls were made after the match. In the B Division, the team of Paul White and the absent Charlie Marcou, who is doing fine by the way, held off the challenge of Charlie Beauchain and Dennis Snow, who also lost a bye. Hey what do you want when the team Captain has yellow balls? In the C Division, Chae avenged last year’s heartbreak on position night by, along with her partner Pat Keane, sneaking in ahead of the team of Bob McAuliffe and Dan Crowley. Ironically both Bob and Dan wear involved in last years heatbreak also. What’s truly ironic is that none of them probably remember any of this. We know no one else cares! Finally in the D Division, Ralph Callahan and Johnny O’Donnell defeated the team of Robin Basque and John Feeley. It could be argued that Robin was contemplating her upcoming nuptials but in reality, the rule is that the League President historically wins his Division. (Except for Noonan that is)
THE SWEET SIXTEEN!
Last week’s preliminary matches produced some surprises, much excitement and, in one particular instance, a hell of a lot of confusion. In the “A” Division, a very close match ended with the team of Neary and Kelley defeating Cazoo and Bob Gorey, 2 up. Normally Theresa is happy when Bob is eliminated since they get to get an early start on the weekend. Unfortunately Theresa is still alive in the playoffs. In the other “A” Division match, the 6th seed of Howell and Lahey defeated the team of Dwyer and Sahagian, 2 and 1 leading Sammy to say, “The best teams just can’t win in this format!” In the “B” Division, the team of Pais and Anderson defeated the team of Hood and Noonan 1 up. Ron is suing. Also in the “B” Division, the team of Beauchain and Snow defeated Barbara who was playing without her partner Dick Teed. Dick and Barbara will be introduced at the Banquet. In the “C” Division, the team of O’Sullivan and Pelczar defeated the team of Joyce and Plouffe 3 and 1. We could say Paul was Appealing but the double meaning is too much of a stretch. The second “C” Division match is where all the confusion came from. Bill Driscoll and Matt Silva went to an extra hole to defeat the team of Lynch and Chan after being down 3 with 3 holes to go. Unfortunately Mark, in his dismay, rode off with the team card. An extra team card was made from the individual card and placed into Cazoo’s box. Now as Danny D was checking over the cards Monday evening, no matter how many times he looked, it appeared that the team of Lynch and Chan actually won 4 and 3! Danny put his best-trained investigator, or at least the best available, Jeff Kaplan on the case. Jeff contacted Mark who was on vacation and to his credit, informed Jeff that he got an 8 on the 6th hole and a 5 on the 7th as opposed to the reverse which showed on the cards submitted, therefor, Bill and Matt actually did win. It was brought up that both teams should be disqualified for submitting an incorrect card, but that would mean that McAullife and Crowley would not have any opponents this week and there’s no way we’ll let McAuliffe off that easy! In the “D” Division, the team of Blackmore and Johnson defeated Dick Kelledy who was without his partner Tim. Dick fought gallantly, but ran into a buzzsaw with Joann. When she finally slipped, Chuck woke up to win the 7th hole and with it the match. Finally, the team of Kennedy and Jack Collins defeated John Feeley, 4 and 2. John, who was without his partner Robin who apparently feels that a honeymoon is more important than our Playoffs, actually had one of his best outings of the year, but it’s tough to win two against one. Jack will do his best tonight now his partner Joe is scheduled to miss. Good luck to all remaining teams tonight!
THE ELITE EIGHT (FINALLY)!
It looks like this is the year of the upset as many of the top seeds have been eliminated from the playoffs. In both the “A” and “D” Division, only the 5th and 6th seeds remain. In addition, no number 1 seeds are left! So much for working all year to get that bye! To recap the last matches, In the “A” Division, the team of Neary and Kelley beat the top seeded team of Norton and Stanton, 2 up. Skip’s predicting victory this week, but he also predicted a Baylor beating of B.C last week. In the other “A” Division match the team of Howell and Lahey defeated Mark Silva who was without his partner Frank, who was in
Las Vegas, 4 and 3. Speaking of Vegas, apparently Mark placed a bet on the opposition in our playoff pool. This would normally exclude him from the NSGC Hall of Fame, but we really don’t have to worry about that much anyway! In the “B” Division, the team of Pais and Anderson continued their hot play by defeating Paul White who was “Marcouless”, 5 and 3. It probably wouldn’t have made a difference if Charlie were there since Mary shot a 39 last week and Dick shot a 43. Paul shot himself. In the other “B” Division match, the team of DiLorenzo and Kaplan squeaked by the team of Beauchain and Snow, 1 up. Judging by the way Dan and Jeff limped in, they can be expecting endorsements from Advil any day now. In the “C” Division, the team of O’Sullivan and Pelczar defeated the top seeded team of Keane and Dunn, 3 and 1. The boys at the bar here at
Merrimack are routing for their continued success! In the most exciting match of the day, the team of McAuliffe and
Crowley beat the team of Driscoll and Matt Silva on the 2nd playoff hole. Once again the team card was missing but this time at least the individual card confirmed the results. In the “D” Division, the team of Blackmore and Johnson upset the top seeded team of Callahan and O’Donnell, 2 and 1. There could be problems if both Dick Pais and JoAnn advance since they are both using JoAnn’s irons. The solution is simple, they can use Dick Pelczar’s since he never uses his, even when playing. Finally, Jack Collins, who was without his partner Joe Kennedy, was able to defeat the team of Marina Milton and Theresa Gorey 2 up. A word of caution Jack, defending champions are paired up again next year! Good luck to all remaining teams tonight!
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